No.1[Reply]
> Your stay has been legendary.
> You are gone now and your bed is still unmade.
> Not an hour has passed since you said, smiling,
> “Paolo,” you were half undressed,
> “Paolo,” with that humor that shines
> in the eyes of a poor man who is, nonetheless, wise,
> who is able to be happy alone. You repeated in your funny way,
> a café-latte in hand, and your stomach still empty before breakfast, you
> repeated my words of last night, “Paolo,” you said, and a minute later,
> and just like this, “Do you want to see me anymore?”
> and you waited, hiding your anxiety. I smiled.
> “Yes, if you want to,” I responded, as I lay in bed,
> and you, “Swear it,” and so I did. I said, “Oh if I am strong enough,
> my dear Ninetto.” Ah, and then you laughed.
Pier Paolo Pasolini was in a relationship with Giovanni "Ninetto" Davoli for a little less than ten years before he left him for a woman. Their love was sweet and passionate, but it was ephemeral and, at least to Ninetto, ultimately meaningless.
No.2
> It is said: A boy who is 23 years old
> has a right to love a girl, a certain Patrizia,
> of a good family of the people,
> with their weeping black eyes and thin wrists.
> There is no one who does not see in this love
> all that is beautiful and traditional. They
> are on your side. In their hearts they retain no pity
> for the man that remains behind, abandoned and alone.
> But reality is elsewhere, Ninetto. This love
> does not glorify you. It humiliates you.
> You are at bottom jealous of her. It is she who can
> bl*ckmail you for your previous love that was innocent.
> You love her only if she weeps and is humiliated.
> You don’t know how to maintain her
> nor do you really want to.
Pasolini recognized that Ninetto was effectively cas-trating himself by putting himself in a heterosexual relationship. Pasolini viewed heterosexuality as a fascist institution, which is why heterosexuality as something brutal and coerced is such a strong theme in Salo. He didn't think Ninetto was capable of loving his wife - he actually wrote to the girl saying as such. But regardless of what he thought, their relationship was over.
No.3
> This thought of Ninetto, when I return to it,> which is at least a hundred times a day,> gives certainty to a way of life. > But it was a fable> I told myself,> half believing the words: my “cute one.” It was a term> I used with my mother. An unutterable joy trembles> inside me. It is an affection that causes the ice in my heart to melt.> My life was eternally committed to her familiar face.> Now, thoughts of Ninetto return. He is like a figure> from a crazy dream, a fugitive animal who ran away> but who now returns to the flock.> Perhaps I am the one you really want. But the day> will come when you “intense in both directions” will come to a decision> and I will be on the loser’s end, alone, totally alone and tired, so very tiredIn the end, there was nothing he could do. He watched his boy get married in front of him, and then he was mur-dered a few years later, albeit he was craving death by that point anyways.
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